Life and Matching

In a space somewhere between now and then, here and there, I sat crisscross on the edge of a cliff, and stared into the white expanse beyond. It seemingly went on forever, so vast that I began to wonder if I was completely alone. Looking amidst this blankness, I pondered the realities of the world. The thoughts fluttered by on wings of contemplation. They flew into the pure nothingness as quickly as they came. The flight’s theme of longing for days to come and mysteries of my life to be solved. Where should I move after college? Are soulmates real? What should I spend my life trying to achieve?

As these thoughts flew along, dissipating, I noticed a noise behind me.

*Snap*… *Snap*……… *Snap*… *Snap*

The noise emanated not from the space of white in front of me, but behind in a space that faded into absolute ebony. I shifted, turning my head to peer into the shadows. They remained still, not a flicker of life amongst them. Their emptiness the sister to the vast blank canvas beyond the ivory cliff.

*Snap*… *Snap*……

It was surprisingly unknown to me… a noise in my own space. The very notion unnerving. The darkness furtive, but still mine. No one could enter or leave unless I willed it, and still the noise continued without reason or rhythm. It would pause and continue, but also stop without warning. Always two of the snaps in tandem.

*Snap……Snap*

I wasn’t afraid, and surprisingly didn’t feel a hint of violation, only curiosity.

“It’s not like anything can hurt me here,” I said casually. So, getting to my feet, I decided to venture inside, out of the light, into empty night. Or so I thought.

I listened. It was still faint but small snapping sounds came again, almost beckoning. *Snap*... *Snap*, then a pause, and another two, faster than before. *Snap.* *Snap.*

I slowly inched my way towards the entrance to starless nights and obsidian mystery. Before I could ponder the stupidity of my curiosity, I took a step forward. And again, and again. Step after step I kept marching in a straight line. The snaps became more distinct; indeed intentional. *Snap*… *Snap*. Another pause. And two more snaps, this time slow and unbothered. *Snap*…….. *Snap*. I began asking myself if I should turn back to the comfort of white but internally questioned what the point of that would be? Nothing could hurt me here; the mind wouldn’t hurt itself. I took another step breaking into a brisk walk. My vision finally became completely obscured and I reached my hands out to make sure I didn’t crash into anything as I made my way further. The shadows then gave way to small twinkles in the distance. I slowed my paced, cautious, as the tiny illuminations came better into view. Empty blackness began to intensify. I noticed what I thought to be small stars adorning the floor. The source of the lights. They were strewn about without any discernable pattern. Suddenly *Snap* a star lit up *Snap* then another, directly in front of me. Then that eerie pause. *Snap*… *Snap* the new stars’ glow was snuffed out. As I made my way closer, the culprit started coming into view. The shadows took form outlining a figure. It seemed to be part of the dark, a silhouette. I couldn’t make out any clothes. It’s head or… his head and body completely engulfed in utter dark, and in front of it lay hundreds upon thousands of faded grey squares.

He paid me no mind as I continued approaching.

“Hello?” I asked wearily, but no response. He was seated facing me, though still unresponsive to the question. So, I stood still and took in the scene, analyzing. *Snap* he turned a square over, specifically the fourth from the center, and it emitted a gold light with a red hue. Then he took a small glance across the expanse of squares and flipped another over with a snap. This one was a simple white with a design of a drawn house on it, and it dawned on me. They weren’t stars but… cards? Some, when turned over, would reveal a color that he would continuously turn over, while others would reveal a design. They would clack and snap against the floor as he turned them, indicating the source of the noise. I inched closer and he still didn’t seem to pay any mind. He just kept his cheek rested lazily on a loose fist and sat crisscross turning over the cards. I watched and watched the hypnotic action for what seemed like no time at all, making out a pattern. He only turned over the colored cards now, each would glow a collection of different shades. He would turn over one and then pause, and finally turn it back before moving on to another. Some cards close and others far. It was entrancing, each square glowed with such a radiant color before he turned them back to grey. I would feel him stop for a moment to admire the truly brilliant shades he came across and others he’d immediately reject. However ultimately, he would always flip the cards back over.

I decided to speak again despite my looming feeling of intrusion, “I’m sorry to interrupt but, what are you doing?”

He stopped mid-reach for a card as the figure of his head met my gaze. “Just living,” he responded calmly in a voice similar to my own.

“Oh no I mean with the cards.”

“Living. Making choices.” He spoke again with more guile, like the answer was obvious. I stood puzzled. As he continued his reach for the card.

“You know…” I stiffened hearing him speak again not prompted by a question. “You can sit and watch instead of staring over me like a creep,’ he finished.

“Oh- I-um,” I stuttered, visibly reddening at the playful remark. The dark figure with no face thinks I’M the creep?

He looked at me or at least he lifted his head in my direction, face absent. I made to mimic his crisscross posture sitting down. His calming tone the only thing that didn’t make me recoil seeing no features. *Snap*… he flipped the card directly in front of him, looking back down. There were curves when he shifted, and I was able to make out his nose and facial structure from his side-profile. *Snap*… *Snap*.

“So…how do you live with glowing cards?” I asked awkwardly.

He chuckled, the sound light and amused, “It’s not too hard, they don’t talk much.”

I wanted to be annoyed, really, but instead I let out a small laugh at his continual dodging of the question, “Good one.”

He gave what I thought was a smile, the only indicator being the outline of his cheeks perking up. “I thought so.”

I didn’t give up though, and pressed, taking a shot in the dark, literally, “So. Why play a matching game in a dim room?”

“It’s not just a matching game.” *Snap* He gestured to a card. “Take a closer look.”

I peered down at the card he had just flipped, illuminating the space under his chin. This one a white with the smallest tinge of baby blue. I stared and was swallowed into the color. White turned my gaze into a scene in the mountains, staring into a forest beyond as flakes of snow lightly fell to the ground. It was blistering cold, yet I felt the warmth contained in a puffy black coat around me along with mittens and a beanie. I let out my shocked inhale as I peered behind me noticing a lavish cabin with smoke rising from a chimney. Then as quickly as the vision came, it was gone. I was back in the star-filled dim space staring a white-blue glowing card. With the vision, I got glimpse of a life spent skiing down slopes and sipping hot chocolate with people I didn’t recognize. It was enjoyable, just not for me I decided.

Turning back to the figure I couldn’t help but grin in amazement, “Whoa, what was that!?”

I could tell he was delighted by the question, “A possibility!” “What did you think?” He gestured again to a different card. I turned my gaze and it fixed upon the simply drawn house from before, “Did it feel like home?”

My agape mouth grew wider as I turned back to him, “You ARE playing a matching game!”

He laughed “Yes. I’m just trying to see which one matches up with this.”

I peered longer into the house card and instead of seeing a place I felt a sensation. It was secure, a created space, good food, pleasant company, and homey… that’s it!

“It feels like home!”

“Haha yes, I agree. I just can’t find the match for it. What did you think of the white card?”

“Cold. I’m not really one for the cold.” I bowed my head realizing the rudeness in my observation. “Not bad I mean, it just didn’t feel like a home.”

He put a hand on my shoulder, my head still down in apology. “I completely agree, and that’s okay.” I met his gaze… or what I thought was his gaze. He stretched his arms wide pointing out the numerous cards around us. “It’s just a possibility. If you don’t like it, you can flip over another. It’s that simple. Nothing is ever, and I mean ever, set in stone.”

I motioned to the still flipped cards illuminating the space, “So are these lit ones the cards you’ve matched?”

“No. it’s just hard to see in here. I actually haven’t matched any yet.” He paused. “Until now of course.”

I cocked my head, “What do you mean?”

“The one in your pocket.”

I raised my eyebrows and turned to my pocket to find a small glow coming through the fabric of my pants. It wasn’t there before. Reaching in, I felt around until my hands brushed a square object. I pulled it out to reveal a colored card glowing every shade imaginable. A cacophony of colors seeming to lead me into a vision as I peered into it, but nothing happened. No vision. No transport to a scene of the world. It just felt like looking into a mirror.

“It’s… me,” I said, still confused.

“It is, and it seems like it goes perfectly with mine.” He grabbed a card from a pocket opposite the one I’d pulled from, because I guess silhouettes have pockets. He held it up to reveal the dark silhouette of a man in front of a white background.

Instinctively I reached my hand out card still in it to his as he did the same. And as the faces met absorbing one another, the other cards lighting the room let out a loud clap, fizzling out as a phantom hand turned them all over at once. Leaving us in the pitch black.

My hand still outstretched the conjoined card burst into an assortment of shimmers, the colors inside released, exploding, lighting up the surrounding space. Black no more, flares of crimson and zaps of yellow sprung to life. Greens pranced across the ground and a blue flowed around me before they all and countless others shot into the sky painting it into a borealis that emerged and changed revealing all the tones once caged within the square.

I turned to meet the excitement of the silhouette “That was incredible!” but he wasn’t there. My smile dropped. “Hello?” No response. “Where did you go?”

“Hell, yeah it was incredible!”, a voice exclaimed finally matching my excitement. “And that was just one match.” But I still couldn’t find it, the man was gone.

“Where are you?” I said, sadness replacing my excitement. Then something tapped on me. Not physically, but like his hand on the shoulder of my consciousness this time. It brought comfort, confidence, security, and I felt… whole.

“I never left,” his voice reverberated through the space.

I placed a hand on my chest, closing my eyes. “I’m glad.”

“So. Would you like to play a game with me?” his invitation still singing with delight.

A wicked grin adorned my features as I opened my eyes and raised an eyebrow, “What kind of game?”

He chuckled, “A game of life and matching my friend.”